How to Accept, Respect, & Integrate
We often wonder what life is all about. I think, at the end of the day, it’s all about the human connection and the opportunities it fosters. Life is about people. It is impossible to live a full life devoid of human interaction. Relationships form, grow, and break—all dictating the various paths life could take. Relationships that grow into friendships open up new opportunities and influence our decisions and actions. However, there are limits to the extent to which people allow others into their lives: This line is drawn by an individual’s particular core values. While we may not realize, these values play a critical role in drawing us into relationships—or away from them.
Switching schools for my sophomore year in high school marked a new peak in my maturity. At the time, I relished and valued academic stimulation within my tight-knit community of old friends. Being torn from that cozy environment, I was forced to adapt to a new reality. By actively participating in class, becoming a member of the tennis team and a variety of clubs, I met a diverse group of people. The groups I joined afforded me many social outings and events. I appreciated being surrounded by friends and having a support system while in school. Yet, I felt unfulfilled. Something was missing. I was lacking the satisfaction of the interactions with my old school’s friends. I missed the heated debates over current global issues and politics as well as the heartfelt discussions we’d share. Over time, as friendships at my new school evolved, I grew uncomfortable in some social situations–I was shocked by certain comments and actions. I tried integrating into other groups but found that most conversations were rather shallow, surrounding boys, drugs, parties and gossip. At social events, many girls vaped, took drugs or drank. Not quite my cup of tea. I couldn’t make out with someone I didn’t know and never understood the appeal of getting high or wasted. I felt uneasy and just not fitting in.
Subconsciously, I gradually found myself distanced from these social circles. Naturally, I stopped receiving invitations to parties or social events. Initially, I was hurt, pondering why I was no longer included: What did I do wrong? Why don’t they like me anymore? Soon enough, I found that my expressions of discomfort and abstinence from the various activities made them feel more uncomfortable than I had realized. Then again, not fitting in with these various groups was totally ok with me. I resorted to reserving my social time for my old friends outside of school.
